How do you Equip your child with Self-Discipline?

‘YOU CAN DO IT!’

The best thing you can do for your children is to equip them with the self-discipline to achieve a responsible and healthy independence.

 “A person’s character and their garden both reflect the amount of weeding that was done in the growing season.” (Author unknown)

As parents, we all have great aspirations concerning what we want our children to do when they grow up. How they should live, who they should marry, and what kind of person they will turn out to be. Should parents simply leave it to chance? Nothing should be left to chance. Set the end goals and work towards them.

I believe that, through the right guidance, training and prayer, all children can achieve their God-given potential.

Homeschooling is a wonderful way to ensure that your child learns responsibility, independence, and self-discipline. These attributes will ensure that your child will be able to fulfill their aspirations and potential. Your aim is to build the child’s confidence in their ability to discern the path they should take. Consistently explain the reasons why they should try their best in school, sports and other activities, to help to prepare them for their future.

“The most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not. It is the first lesson that ought to be learned… It is probably the last lesson a person learns thoroughly. It is never too late to learn this.”   Thomas Huxley

7 Ways you can help your child develop independence and self-discipline?

1. Vision
2. Responsibility
3. Goals
4. Planning ‘
5. Opportunities
6. Distractions
7. Humility

This begins at home!

Start training your child, from a young age, to be accountable for his actions, and to achieve small self-discipline goals.  

1. Start with a vision.

Children love to dream about what they want to be. We need to train our children that their character will define them, not their occupation. This is very important!

2. Take responsibility. 

Children can learn responsibility from a very young age. My children have always been responsible for packing their own toys for our travels to and from Harare. It took one mistake, when one child left his favourite toy behind, for them to become more responsible. Taking responsibility leads to results. Work at this discipline to attain success.   

“The first requisite of a good citizen, in this Republic of ours, is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight.” Theodore Roosevelt. 

 3. Setting Goals. 

Your child must learn that the only progress that will be made, is progress that is planned for.       Since preschool, my children have set daily goals for their schoolwork. These goals must be achieved by the end of the school day, so they have learnt to take responsibility for their own education.  More about goals please see the related post; How to create and achieve your child’s goals through homeschooling.

“First build a proper goal. That proper goal will make it easy, almost automatic, to build a proper you.” Goethe  

 4. Make a plan.

For each goal set, there must be a strategy laid out, in order to accomplish it. My children have sporting goals, which they set each year, plus a strategy laid out as to how to accomplish them. When they review their goals and strategies, they realize that they have done their best, which is reassuring, as that is the most they can do. This helps remove the frustration which often comes when a child does not achieve as highly as their peers.

5. Say ‘YES’ to opportunity and interruptions. 

Opportunities don’t always come in the ‘silver spoon’ variety, but they often match up with a goal.   Each opportunity has its own indirect benefits, and these, the child needs to identify and learn from.   Often, opportunities come with problems and challenges rather than offers and invitations. These issues help to develop your child’s character and push them out of their comfort zone. Learning to accept interruptions teaches your child to value people over tasks. They need to learn to prioritize the needs of others, over the accomplishment of an ideal.

 “None of us are more important than the rest of us.” Ray Kroc

 6. Learn to say ‘NO’ to distractions and diversions. 

Children will fall prey to all sorts of diversions – internet, video games, bad habits, and friends who have no goals. To teach your children to say ‘no’ to distractions, you need to teach them discernment and discretion. The old saying is “opportunity costs,” and your children will need to make wise choices. I find, with homeschooling, that I can help my children not to fall prey to diversions because I can easily control the environment in which they spend their time.             

Always applaud your child when they make good decisions and encourage them to discuss with you the things that they find distracting. Keep the lines of communication open between yourselves and your children.       

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”  William J Bryan

7. Humility – make room for vision beyond self.

Children need to learn humility. Your children need to learn that the world does not revolve around them. They should treat others with respect and value their opinions, even if they differ from those of their own. Teach them that it is OK to differ in opinions without feeling guilty. Their aspirations should always fit the larger picture, which is God’s picture.

 “When we learn to place proper value on other people, we can be sure our values have been properly placed.” (Author unknown.) 

Homeschooling is the perfect controlled environment in which to successfully teach all of the above.

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.” Psalm 20 7-8.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the wonderful opportunity to raise my children to be independent with self-discipline, however please guide me with this task. In Jesus Name I prayer, Amen.

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