Ashleigh Whaley
Horse-shows Grow and Develop Our Children’s Characters.
Of all the sports our children compete in we believe participating in horse-shows teaches them the most, whilst growing and developing their characters.
If you have never experienced a horse-show or competed in one, it’s a very unique experience, with lots of moving parts, which need to be put in the right place at the right time.
I have listed some areas of horse-show activity our children have experienced and how these have helped develop and grow their characters.
1: Horse-show and Goal Setting.
A month before each show we set the goals for each horse and what improvement we aim to achieve by the end of the show. This enables the child to focus, work harder and understand what they are aiming to achieve, whilst minimising any later frustrations. Short, medium and long term goals are part of everyday life and it’s never too early to start identifying them.
2.Horse-show Planning and Preparation.
Loads of planning and preparation goes into getting a horse ready for a horse-show. When our children are competing with several horses, it takes more planning, more preparation and always lots of hard work. Reaching goals and achieving results only come from the time and the effort put in beforehand. Therefore, we place a great deal of emphasis on show preparation. Good planning is a life skill every child needs for success.
3. Horse-show and Self Packing.
The children have to pack all they need for the show, beginning with whatever the horses, grooms and vehicles require. These are aspects of preparation we encourage the children to do, with our guidance. They are not allowed to leave things to the last minute, so they have to plan, write lists, clean, sort and pack all their equipment, source food for the grooms and check all the vehicles. This often takes up a whole day before the show. Through this activity they learn planning and accountability.
4.Horse-show and Solving Challenges.
With horses there are always challenges, as horses are living creatures, with minds of their own. The children need to observe, think and adapt, when things don’t go according to plan. Our children also need to learn to look at themselves and work out what they can do better for each horse. They should never assume that it’s always the horse that is at fault!
This is a great lesson in problem solving. Instead of knee jerk responses, they learn how a problem can be solved, through research, thought and understanding. It also teaches the child to look at themselves, before releasing their frustrations on their horses.
5. Horse-show and Being able to Adapt.
With horses you have to react quickly and think on the move. This is a great exercise in training your child to thoughtfully respond. To make a measured decision, without looking back, – then to positively move forward, without any emotional reactions.
Our children are not allowed to simply fall apart or give up. Whatever they start, they must finish with a positive attitude. This helps them to become quick thinkers and to have the confidence to move forward through mistakes and difficulties.
6. Horse-show and Comfort Zones.
Part of our job is to make sure that every child is taken out of their comfort zone, at every show. This means giving them a different horse to ride, or entering them into a higher class. I often place challenges in front of the children, just to see how they cope, once pushed out of their comfort zones. Coping with new challenges boosts their confidence to another level and they often start to thrive. When the next show comes along, they’re ready… and often choose to go willingly out of their comfort zones.
It has been proven that we only grow when we are pushed.
The important fact is that the children take up a challenge, put in the effort and complete each task. This certainly emotionally strengthens the child for future tasks.
7. Horse-show and Dealing with the Unexpected.
There is always the unexpected with horses, which is part of the learning experience for children. We need to teach our children how to deal with the unexpected. For example; when the child or the horse get injured or sick and is unable to compete, -how do they react? We help the children to pull themselves together, look for the positives and move on…These are all lessons that we need to learn in life. The younger one learns this, the better one will cope as an adult.
8. Horse-show Leadership through Responsibility.
Once we arrive at the horse-show, each child has their own responsibilities and it’s up to them to make sure that their horses are ready and on time for each class. They have to ensure that the grooms have their food and drinks and that the horses are properly fed and watered, before they concentrate upon themselves.
We insist that the children only eat, once all the staff and animals have been fed. It’s a great exercise for them to learn about thinking of others.
Our family motto is JOY. – Jesus, Others, Yourself.
9. Horse-show Organisational Skills.
In order to succeed, the children have to be organised. This is extremely important, as they have to be at certain places at certain times with their horses ready to compete. There is no time at a horse event to say ‘Oh, sorry! I’m not ready’…
Before the horse-show day begins we discuss what has to happen, when? This is to make sure they are always ready to compete on time. Each child has to have their competing horse prepared and ready, as they wait for the bell. Tardiness never results in good outcomes.
10. Horse-show and Being Content with what You have…
We stress to our children that they are competing on horses that have their own unique abilities, regardless of their price tag. Success does not mean one has to have the most expensive horse, latest tack and smartest clothing.
Once they enter the arena it becomes an even playing field. It’s the determination and hard work that builds success, not the size of your bank account. Succeeding with the tools you have teaches children to take up challenges, even when they don’t have the best of everything.
11. Horse-show and An Attitude of Gratitude.
We have always emphasised that gratitude is the most important attitude and have encouraged our children to be grateful for whatever they have. -Also, be thankful for the people who have put in the hours to make the horse-show happen and always be ready, with a humble spirit, to help those in need of help.
Continually, we remind our children to remember that it’s not all about themselves. Horse sport is a combination of horse and rider. It is a partnership. We expect an attitude of gratitude, as it is gratitude that produces well adjusted, happy children.
12. From Horse-show Highs to the Lows.
We have also trained our children to make the most of the highs of success, as this does not happen all the time. Celebrations give them the drive to succeed again. Winning is amazing, but they need to understand that it’s just another step on the ladder. Embracing and enjoying it is important, whilst remaining humble enough to look forward to newer and higher goals.
13. Horse-show and Emotional IQ:
Developing a child’s emotional IQ is extremely important. Coaching them on how to cope with losing is far more important than teaching them how to cope with winning. With horses, one is guaranteed to have disappointments. It is how your child copes with disappointments that makes for a mentally stronger individual.
Learning to lose is a very important life skill, as they will lose more than they will win. However, it’s how they react when they lose, which is super important. Losing is not to be regarded as a complete failure. It is only part of the learning journey to new experiences.
14. Horse-show and Improved Memory.
Since our children were young riders, they have had to learn their dressage tests by heart, as well as their various show jumping courses. This has improved their memories and has now become an easy exercise for them. It’s actually a wonderful skill to acquire, which is best learned from a young age.
15. Dealing with Difficult Horse-show People.
It is sad to read the statistics, that 80% of people participating in horse-shows, have been verbally abused at some stage! It seems to be a sport where people are often criticising and picking on one another…. This can create a very unhealthy atmosphere amongst riders. We have spent time talking to our children, teaching them how to deal with difficult and rude people.
The lesson they need to learn is to never treat others in the same manner! We have encouraged them to always ‘smile and wave’ and to respect those in authority. They should never engage in disrespectful behaviour and should try to keep clear of those who seem to enjoy being unkind, or rude.
16. Regrouping After a Horse-show.
After shows we always regroup and take the positives and the negatives from the show. We look at how the children can learn, develop and better their own, as well as their horses performances. We don’t expect our children to win all the time, but we do expect them to try their best. It’s all part of the building blocks towards future equestrian events.
They are encouraged to always look for the rainbow in every competitive round. Winning will come later, once the foundation is solid. The saying goes… ‘You are only as good as your horse and your horse is only as good as you’.
Finally, as a parent, always remember that what ever you affirm in your children, they will repeat. Make a conscious effort to affirm their characters over their performances. We are very blessed and privileged to be able to ride and care for such amazing animals, so we enjoy each moment, whether good or bad.
“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” Psalm 20:7
…Go love your horses!
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